Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Lately, I have been struggling with many things in my life. One important thing has been my educational future. After doing everything that the University has asked of me. I still have been confronted with obstacles. I have just wanted to give up and say Fuck it! But I don't want to do that at all. I had to ask myself, if you throw up your hands and walk away, what would you be walking to?
I have no answer to this question. The fact that others around me have been handed opportunities to them, and I have to really fight for mine wasn't much of a help at all.
So, last night I wasn't feeling very good about myself or my situation. I was going through the waht if I had only did this or that differently. I had a friend tell me that go ahead and say fuck it. Noone will care at all that you did it. Which is completely tru, and that question came to mind as well.
I prayed and then I went to sleep. I woke feeling good about things. But nervous because I had a meeting with my rehab counselor at 3:30.
My friend that told me to go ahead and give up. Sent me an email with a lot of verses that were for me was comforting and strengthening. I spent some time praying and focusing on the positive things. Then I went to my friends and family and asked for prayers and or positive thoughts.
My meeting was a success. I discussed everything that was on my mind with my counselor. I was very honest and we got a lot acomplished.
I know that I needed to be honest, and trust in my faith and in the fact that I have lots of support and prayers.
I probably will still have to struggle. But that may be in god's plan for me.
My struggles make it prudent for me to apreciate my blessings.

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