I am so glad that the week is over. I have felt tired, flustered, frustrated, angered, sad, and lonely. Just to name a few of the plethora of emotions I experienced this week. They all are due to my not having time for my self, except for the lonely feeling. I don't know where that came from. Like I do the anger, sadness, and the frustration. The frustration comes from the fact that everytime I participate in something successful. People just have to focus on the negative. That just drives me nuts. There were a couple of those incedences this past weekend and past week. So granted I was frustrated because I just feel like it was done and lets not criticize and go about what happened and didn't happen. Look at what was accomplished. I won't get started on the complaining that occurred which is a source of my frustration. So will just move on!
The sadness and anger stemmed from last night's class. We talked about child abuse and domestic vilence. I found myself wanting to cry, and then yet I was ready to beat the shit out of anyone that had abused a child. This continued all throughout the time in class that we discussed these issues. I really nearly lost it when we were told that people use web cams to film the abuse that they perpetrate on their own children. And, the fact that many abusers can control the people that they are abusing through text messages. This all just reminded me that we live in a sick world.
As I have said , I don't know where the loneliness came from. However, it showed up for a brief time. I think that I just need to take some time for myself for a couple of days. Just focus on nothing at all. I wish I could rent a hotel room and just eat chocolates, read, watch movies and do whatever I want for a day or two. It would be nice. But its only a dream, and an urealistic one at that. Lol!
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