thoughts

My recovery from knee surgery is going well. I found out that the doctor had to save what he could of the cartelidge under my knee cap.. If he hadn't repaired what he did I wouldn't have anything left and would probably have to have a knee replacement.
Obviously this is really stressing me out. The continuous swelling is not helping either. I am trying really hard not to push myself. I am trying to do what I have been told.
But I am very stressed, and its causing me to feel somewhat helpless. I am also wondering if I have really bad luck, or if god is just not listening.
I had a friend tell me that I am just confused, and struggling with my faith and with many things.
I wanted to say tell me something I didn't know.
Even though things are bleak and seems like I have hit the bottom of some dark hole in a dark place. I still find my little thread of hope and one possitive thing that will help me grow and feel thankful.
Today was the friendships and the beautiful day that I was thankful for.
Now I am going to go and enjoy a book and get a goodnight sleep. I am leaving everything to someone who is in control. That isn't me.
Have a blessed night and I will post more often.