I am still single. I have no prospects. Some of my friends and family give me a very hard time. This hard time makes me feel unworthy and very down on myself at times.
However, I do believe that being single isn't all bad. Then on the other hand being single is not normal either. My mom once told me to get off my high horse. Which I took toom mean setll for a little bit less. The statement hurt my feelings at the time. then I thought how mom just wanted the best for me. She wants me to have a normal life and to be happy. Just like all of those friends and other family members that harass me about being single.
Thinking back on the talk and speculation about me being single. I have realized that they have absolutely no clue how to be disabled and search for a partner. They see me as myself. They don't focus on my disability. They only see me as niece, daughter, sister, and friend.
This might sound mean. But, I have wished that some of my family and friends could live my life for longer than a day. Then ,may be they would have a little bit of understanding. If not more than a little bit. That is another topic of discussion.
Think of any book or drama that shows a strong independent woman who is totally blind, and or has another disability that has a "normal" life. You know the normal life that society has. If you have thought of any books. Then you are doing lots better than I. Even the romance come home my heart that has a blind character in it isn't normal. The character goes blind. She doesn't live with it through out her life.
I am a sstrong believer in the idea that you don't control who you fall in love with. Yes, that belief is tested when I am hounded and my sexuality is questioned, or if the only reason someone wants me involved in a relationship, is because I need to be taken care of. excuse me while I consinder gagging on that last statement.
Anyway, if I didn't admit that being questioned and treated like I am a criminal or committed a deadly sin for being single bothers me. I would be using that steriotype of the person with any disability is very happy all of the time. That isn't me.
Off of my soap box for now. I give props to those of us who are single. Even though we might not like it all of the time and we get treated like its a crime or a deadly sin to be single. Its all right. Finally, my young cuz britt has the right idea. She posted this in her status.
" a woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her..."
I believe that this can apply to guys as well. And, it can be amended so that the essence of the statement can mean the same.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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